How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
