I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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