I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
