I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
