Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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