and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
