$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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