I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
