im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize