I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize