it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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