as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
