you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You pole danced in your parka.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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