those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
