dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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