I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
