i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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