Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
