11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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