Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
