it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
