Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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