It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
