this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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