Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
