My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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