I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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