I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
