There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
honey bunches of taint.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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