Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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