time to smoke my breakfast
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
