Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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