he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
