so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize