She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
