Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
