In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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