Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
