Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So much Jack, so little girl.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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