stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
