apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize