just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
