Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
