New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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