You made me cry and you don't even care
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will be naked everywhere
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
