3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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