Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
