New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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