im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
