Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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