Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
