After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
