Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
