i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
