It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
